But Seriously....What the Hell is Going On!?

Do you ever wonder what’s out there? What’s waiting for you? What is outside the walls you are within right now that’s just waiting for you to discover it?

Have you discovered yourself? Think about it. Do you really know who you are? Freeze the moment you are in right now. Are you actually happy with where you are? Do you love where you’re living, your job, your life, or your hobbies? Or do you wish that somehow, magically, all of that could change? Or maybe just some of it? Or maybe you’re truly happy. And if that’s the case, then you should be proud that you are perfectly happy and want no changes with where you are right now.

 

But is that me?

 

Hell No.

 

Was I happy? Yes. Did I love my job? Well, okay, no, but I was happy with where I was. Did I have friends? More than anyone could count. Did I have a love life? That’s debatable but I think one could’ve occurred. Did I love where I lived? As much as I would complain, it was an incredible place and always will be. It was my first home and will be my hometown for the rest of my life. But if you asked if I knew who I was, go ahead, ask me. Could I define myself? My answer? Ask me in 5 years and I still probably won’t know. Who the hell knows who they are anymore. I have seen too many unhappy people living lives that they know they shouldn’t be a part of. Lives where they say, “I never saw myself doing this for the rest of my life, and yet, here I am.”

 

THAT. That quote right there, is something that I never want to have to encounter; which is why I decided to take a journey to discover myself. Where? Boulder, Colorado.

 

5 years ago, Boulder would’ve been NYC to be a fashion designer, 3 years ago, it would’ve been Italy to be a pastry artist (which is still a possibility) But now? I’m in the outdoor capital of the world and have a dream of going into holistic cooking. Life changes constantly. I like to think of myself as a variable or (x) if you will. Add different components to the equation and my value changes. Give me a new location, different friends, strange hobbies, and my value changes instantly. I’m now changing every possible component of my life to see where I will end up. This change is, as of now, permanent.

 

This decision is like doing the New York Times Crossword in pen: dangerous and risky, but it’s incredibly rewarding if you know what you’re doing.  

I’ve never been good at crossword puzzles…

…..I may need some white out